Paul W's Story
I don’t come from a Christian back ground, however as a small child I was packed off to Sunday school just so my parents could have a quiet afternoon, so there was an understanding of religion and what God was about….. I.e. he was a million miles away and only did things that were in the bible, and we seemed to have lost contact with him a long time ago. Actually, the Sunday school teachers were really nice people with good hearts and little did they know but they sowed the seeds to grow later in life.
So God did not have much of an impact on me, and even at five I was sceptical and decided to not believe in him by the age of seven.
Even though I denied Jesus in my life I was drawn to all things supernatural and odd. Now to put this in context. I used to live in a big old Victorian house in London which was originally owned by the Lady Astor. Anyway to coin a phrase things actually did go bump in the night… And the day. Often voices were heard in my room by my self and my sisters, lights would come on and footsteps were heard on the landing outside, and doors would open and be pounded on.
Strangely I remember cowering under the covers listening to it all going on and being as scared as scared can be, almost begging the morning to come. It was in those times that I cried out to God, I would repeat “ I do believe in God” over and over until it all stopped. It always did, however the next morning I would go back to my normal mind set.
Now the impact on me was big, but it was more so for my sister Sue, who as teenager started messing about with Ouija boards, and of course I joined in with glee.
Well as you can imagine things got worse in the house and figures would appear, where there were just noises before.
My school life was awful, I was quiet, withdrawn and constantly bullied, there seemed to be no way out for me.
I went to live with my sister in my early teens, who now was fully into the spiritualism thing and was developing as a medium. Her husband Peter fully supported her and was messing around with ritual magick himself. I remember my first night after I moved in, I had a spook in my room reeking of perfume, I was assured by my sister who shouted from her room, that the spirit only wanted to check me out. A nice welcome I thought so yet another sleepless night under the covers.
To cut a very long story short over the next couple of years things got very bad. My sister was well established as medium of some note and got lots of customers, and it was my job to put people at ease before a reading, so I was I was really in to it as well. Anyway the house was alive with goings on; I saw many supernatural manifestations and had a myriad of experiences, which left me feeling scared and alone and very confused.
To get some kind of meaning out of it all I started to dabble in the occult myself (Tarot cards and Astrology) and found myself going along to the local Spiritualist meetings with my sister. I tried to find some release there but only found a lot of lost, lonely and really messed up people who were desperate for the next supernatural fix. After a while I grew rotten inside, my thoughts were constantly dark and in some cases evil, and I was being drawn more and more into pit of despair, I wanted to kill myself (or being led too) and leave it all behind.
After a couple of years of living in that environment I moved back home and then had a brief spell in the Army, which is another story. Even when I was back home the desire to explore the occult still called to me, I started to read anything I could get hold of and tried to contact occult groups and covens who met in the area. Thankfully that never came to anything.
I started a job at the local Post office and after a while I started working with a girl, who I really fancied, who was a strong Christian. When I found that out I was really horrible to her, If I could find a way to attack her faith then I would and I’m ashamed to say that I said some terrible things about Jesus.
She meet every insult with love and forgiveness and that really cheesed me off big time, which made me hate what was in her.
Well Christmas came along and she invited me to a guest meeting, Yes thought I, I can go along and ridicule it and even bring my badness into the place. So I went with bad intentions. I really was not a nice person.
So there I was sitting there in church simmering with nastiness, it was so nice and twee and I really hated it, then a girl got up and spoke, and I was shaken to my core. Her life had been so desperate and lonely and she had also been involved in the occult, to be honest I was stunned into a deep silence that I could hardly talk afterwards.
That night I decided to pray, the first time since childhood, I was totally broken and desperate. I got down on my knees by my bed and I cried out to God. I asked him why my life so far had been so appalling. He answered me in a loud clearly audible voice (yep that’s right he spoke) he said “ You look but you don’t see and you hear but you do not listen” I didn’t make a decision but my defiance broke that night.
I went to work the following Monday, and the strangest thing happened, I got invited to another church by a group of lads who were Christians, it seems that they had been praying for me. I knew then that the game was up and that Jesus had got my number, and a couple of weeks later I stooped running and gave my life to Jesus.
The enemy was not going to give up on me that easy though. I foolishly agreed to accompany my sister to her local spook church, misplaced loyalty I guess. So off I went feeling very uncomfortable. The speaker seeing me pulled me out of the crowd (which I have seen or heard of happening before) and got me up on stage. She then proceeded to channel her spirit guide who was a Chinese man. Unbelievable I know, but she changed in front of my eyes, her skin became tanned, her bone structure changed, her eyes became slanted and her voice was that of a man. The thing that was before me then told me that the spirits want me to concentrate on my material life right now and not on things of faith and spirit. It caused quite a stir but I sussed straight away that the enemy had over played his hand, so I went out of there knowing that my decision was the right one and that Jesus had won. My sister is still a medium and is still doing all sorts of things that I now find disgusting and hurtful.
I hated Christians with a passion and now here I am, set free, cleaned and safe in the hands of God. I fully realise that a victory has been won in my life and that If I hadn’t have found his love then I may not have made it.
Where there was only despair, there is now the perfect love of Jesus.
Thanks for taking the time to read this.